Bunny: Lunch, Phone Calls and Gleeks

Fandom[s]: Harry Potter/Glee
Relationship(s): Harry Potter/Noah ‘Puck’ Puckerman, Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson
Content Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Slash, Gay Sex, Foul Language, British Humour, Homophobic Behaviour.
Summary: Hadrian Potter Anderson is introduced to the Gleeks. How will they respond to such frank opinions?

School & Puck

“Hadrian Black, but YOU can keep calling me gorgeous!”

With that he skipped over to the desks on the far side of the room.

Puck had spent most of math perv’ing on Hadrian, so when the bell rang signalling lunch he followed after the small teen all the way to the cafeteria.

Entering a couple of yards behind him, he watched as he made a bee line for the food, then pick out the greasiest food McKinley had to offer (pizza, ‘tator tots and fries) before heading to where Hummel and Aretha were sitting.

Going in search of his own lunch he lost track of the boy as Finn Hudson and Sam Evans collided with his back as a way of greeting.

“What’s up bro?”

“Just checking out the new eye candy Finn”

“OMG, you can get eye candy! Where?”

Laughing Puck eyed Hadrian one more time before turning to his fellow Gleeks.

“Not real candy Frankenteen, the new kid, he’s like super-hot!”

“Oh” – “Wait since when have you liked boys?…you don’t like, like me do you, because that would be weird!”

“Dude! No I don’t like ‘like’ you! Get your lunch and come sit down – Sam look after him!”

With that Puck picked up his tray, winked at the lunch lady before sauntering over the Gleek table.

“Hey Gorgeous!”

Hadrian spun round at the sound of Puck then proceeded to giggle (again) at the slack jawed look on the two jocks behind him.

“Hello Puck, are you going to sit…or admire the view some more?”

“What view?” this came from the intense blonde that Hadrian identified as Sam Evans.

“The view of my arse of course! Pucks been eyeing it since 2nd period”

Kurt and Mercedes at this point nearly died with shock when Puck just grinned wider then took a seat at the table with them.

“While the view of your ASS is very tempting, I think I’ll simply bask in the glory of both Hummel and Aretha here stunned into silence”

“Hadrian what have you done to Puck? He doesn’t talk about ‘basking’, he talks about his ridiculous obsession with his ‘guns’!” exclaimed Kurt.

“Hey! These Guns are legendary! There like Mike’s pecks and Sam’s abs! Don’t knock it till you try it! Not that either of you two losers will get to try ‘it'” Puck spouted through a mouth full of tater tots.

“Hey meathead, don’t be talking to my boy like that or I’ll cut you!”

Just then the sound of Rihanna’s S&M blared out at the room.

#”What the fuck Blaine! When did you change my ringtone?”#

#”HELLOOO! Bunny, how was your first class, were people mean to you, did you make any friends, are you eating enough, are you sure you don’t want to come to Dalton?”#

#”Calm Blaine! Calm and to answer: it was good, no, yes, yes and most definitely not! Things just got interesting (here he eyed Puck from the floor up, stopping at his midsection, licking his lips before moving on up, a seductive smile playing at the edges of his lips) yep the…people here sure are interesting”#

#”Interesting. What. Do. You. Mean. Interesting.”#

#”Well, let’s just say they’ve been real welcoming…Blaine…Blaine? Did you just drop the phone…BLAINE! Blainybear?”#

#”Hi, this is David, Blaine can’t come to the phone right now, he’s currently jumping up and down squealing – Hey! I’m not squealing! OMG Bunny I’m so happy, you’re gonna tell me everything when you get home, but for now have fun and play nice! Bye Bunny!”#

Laughing Hadrian put his phone away and then looked around the table noticing that 8 more people had joined their table and were all currently starring in his direction. Especially a small brown haired girl with a hideous unicorn jumper.

“Hello, can I help you with something?” he questioned the group as a whole.

“You’re Hadrian Black”


“I’m Rachel Berry, lead soloist of New Directions”

“I don’t know why you would want to be a soloist for something called Nude Erections but on a different topic can I just say that I find your jumper/thingy grotesquely offensive (wha…) no no don’t speak, just how can you even think to ware something like that and then sit next to Kurt? It’s like blasphemy!”

Here the rest of the table were trying and failing to stifle there laughter as Rachel sputtered and gaped at them.

“For your information it’s N-E-W D-I-R-E-C-T-I-O-N-S and I think you’re really rude! There’s nothing wrong with my JERSEY!”

“Yeah, yeah whatever man hands. I’m Santana Lopez and this is Brittany Pierce” a Latina girl stated from the end of the bench.

Hadrian nodded to both.

“Satan, Ms Spears…pleasure”


Hadrian smiled in response.

This then started a round of introductions with Kurt acting as host/hostess. As each person was introduced Hadrian would bestow upon them a nick name that wasn’t always the most flattering but amusing none the less. After Brittany came ‘Abs Chang’, ‘Goth Chang’, ‘Wheels’, ‘Fangirl’, ‘Prude’, ‘Frankenteen’ and ‘Evy’. (Mike, Tina, Artie, Lauren, Rachel, Finn and Sam respectively)

“So these nick names, what are ours” Mercedes questioned gesturing to herself, Kurt and Puck.

“Diva, Doll and Delicious” came the quick fire response.


“Well anymore questions?”

“Yeah” everyone groaned as Finn asked whilst clearly confused “Why are you so mean?”

Bunny: Tough Love